Sunday, April 6, 2014

Captain's Log... Kaos Team Two...

Used without permission from:
How do I start this post...

I could tell you that all was well and things were looking good... but the rats need a touch of touch-up paint. I could tell you that the direction I was going was up... but I think it's more like a stumbling side step.

High noon. It's almost like a western and you expect someone to ride in and save your butt...


The Sons of the Apocalypse (Chaos), The DoomBeards (Chaos Dwarves), and The Beasts of Burden are running through our Blood Bowl League like water through a sieve.

I am bound and determined to make them pay for the things they have done... or kill my team trying!

As I mentioned in my last post today I had a league match with  another Chaos team that is in our league. We're quite bashy when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't think one team has gone unaffected by them. Then again, I don't think many of the coaches have played them yet. I get the distinct feeling that at least half the coaches are playing each other in the hopes that one of the 'bashy' teams will damage anther on of the 'bashy' teams. So far I fell like...

Ever heard that expression... Put 's _ _ t' in one hand and hope in the other and see which one fills up quicker. Yep... sure feels that way in the corner.

Crime Report #6 - Shenanigans or Jinxed... such is life.

Ladies and Gentlemen... and all the exterminators who became ill suddenly...

Today was a bright shiny new day for the Finks to play after the so-so tournament yesterday. Fat tony was pleased none the less since his dinner was a plate of blitzer, line-rat, and gutter runner who failed to perform.  He mentioned the gutter runner was a little tough but his bones made good toothpicks! I have to admit that he was good smoked albeit chewy. He went down well with a stint of 'Bladnoch X' so I have no complaints.

For the Fans of the Finks I assure you not to worry. The rats pressed into service for the tournament may have had similar names but were no where the stock of the Finks on the field for the SPR Bacon Blood Bowl League.

I have to thank the fans who shouwed up today before I get into the match report. Two games in a row the Finks fans showed up in twice the number as the other team. it is a credit to you the '17th Man' on the roster. We can't do it without you!

The 'Burden' elected to receive the ball after winning the coin toss... as expected. Why would a Chaos team elect to kick the ball when you really want to run the other teams into the pitch? They don't.

In the first play of the game the 'Burden' knocked two players into the red box and one into the yellow box putting the Finks on edge straight away. We have seen this before in the third game of the season and struggled to stay alive and it looked exactly the same this match. Kinder, gentler, chaos team... my 'donkey'!

Reeling, Fat Tony rallied the players from running off the pitch right then and there and put them on a purely defensive strategy. Fat Tony may eat 'under achievers' but they are still kin... in most cases... maybe... So the strategy was to look for opportunities to strike and maybe pull of some touch down shenanigans that only Lucky Mikey could pull out from under his orange cape.

By the third turn of the first half five players from the Finks were off the pitch. Two in the red box hurt to the point of not coming back into the game and three laying on the ground not moving in the yellow box trying to recover from a  tentacle clad Minotaur. I'm sure the potion that gives him extra strength should be outlawed but SinSynn 'Two-tails' the Breeze assures me that 'slime' from tentacles can often give 'extra' strength to those willing to give up part of their soul. This particular Minotaur probably doesn't have a soul left he is so strong. He was a wild animal on a feeding frenzy!

It just became an exercise in staying alive for the Finks.

Lucky Mikey did have a chance to score but fell down when he tried to go for it. there were slime trails all over the field and Mikey had to be washed off at half-time after his fall.

While Lucky was falling over his own feet, the back up thrower, the 'Greasy Thumb', had trouble of his own trying to dodge out of the tentacle armed Minotaur who just wouldn't let go. Twice, the 'Thumb' tried to break away to do anything but be near the wild animal and twice he failed while falling down the third time dodging the spiked appendages.

Fortune smiled on the Finks and the half ended. As an aside, if anyone sees the time keeper please contact the league front offices. Some one mentioned he went to the 'out house' and didn't return. Searches have brought up no clues to his location at this time. Scrying for his presence has only revealed a soupy mix of swirling chunky brown water. It happens on occasion according to the magisters.

The Finks received the ball first in the second half and Mikey lined up for a quick score. SinSynn was lucky in the fact that the high kick from the 'Burden' allowed him to get directly under the ball but 'shenanigans' were definitely in play. Sinsynn's sure hands allowed him to handle the ball but when he tried to safely hand  it off to Mikey, it slipped out of the star runners hands... twice.

The dropped ball sent the 'Burden' into a frenzy as they drove the ball down the field and sent three finks to the yellow box to catch their breath and have joints realigned for more play.

In the second to the last play of the half, the Finks, down by one score capitalized upon the 'Burden's' miss management of the the clock. Fat Tony smiled a toothy rat grin and prepared to make the 'Burden' pay for that mistake... as much as they could with a broken team in a long game.

Lucky and the remaining Finks lined up on the line of scrimmage and executed the fastest score the league can present at this time. I should mention that lightning fast scorers are a rarity in the league and their presence is far and few between. The Finks are very 'Lucky' to have... Lucky Mikey on the roster... and still living!

SinSynn grabbed the ball and threw it to the purple caped gutter runner Donnie who plucked it out of the air with ease and took off towards Mikey.

Without a hiccup, like the first two attempts, Mikey leaped over the defensive line of the 'Burden', dodge out of a tackle zone, and sprinted for the touchdown.

I'd tell you the fans were cheering but they weren't. Every fan of the Fink's were holding their breath when Mikey crossed into the end zone and tied the game. Tears were in my eyes... not from the last minute tying of the game but from the bad breath being let out from the crowd. I suggest the concession stand sell 'mint' something to freshen the air and the breath of the patrons!

What a relief...

It looked like the Finks were in an instant replay of the game three early but they stuck with it and did the best they could despite the on the pitch, off the pitch complications.

After the game we did receive good news. Momo the 1st was deemed the most valuable player of the game and the team presented him with a clawed set of gloves made from the teeth of Momo Jr. his father. I am sure he will wear them with pride and the approval of the league when it comes to things... clawed.

I also have to say that Raphael the Wolf, wearing the red cape these days, seems to be gaining in experience and almost has the 'strip ball' skill down. Not seen today we expect to see it in the future and put to good use as a harasser for the Finks instead of a ball handler.

The league is still figuring out the schedule for the Finks and our next opponent is yet to be named. the schedule says one thing but a combination of events has made the schedule more useful as a fire starter than anything else.

I'll be in other corners till our next match... be well...

Official Fink Lawyer and Spokesman
John Walker Redd
Retired Cornerstone Blocker

...and on that note I will retire to my own corner for a beer.


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