The CornerStones News Bulletin #17
Ladies and Gentlemen... and all the Nuns praying on the other pitch...
The second week of the season and the second game for the CornerStones against a newly raised team called the 'Deadskins'.
I'll first start off by writing about the coach, necromancer, necrophiliac, named Kelsey who burys his squad into the ground and then digs them up again. Starting off with two Werewolves and two Flesh Golems to walk all over the zombies is really the way to start. We here in the front office will just call him 'Kelsey the UnderTaker'!
The UnderTaker is also ruthless.
Having plenty of inducements to play the CornerStones the star player Hach Enslash and a mercenary wight joined the Deadskins for a perfect evening of blood, whiskey, and well trimmed grass on the turf. The turf was especially admired by the Werewolves who spent most of the night on it due to 'The Hulk' Bladnoch blitzing one to the cemetary for most of the match and their own inability to stand as hummanoids. Werewolves... great on speed but come crashing down like the rest of them when they run into a well placed kilt!
Now, Hack Enslash is not to be triffled with. The necromantic loving chainsaw welder cranked up the biting teeth of death and ripped into the CornerStones while the remaining Werewolf and a few of his zombie followers pushed a couple scotlings into the crowd who did the dirty work for them. Fortunatley 'The Hulk' Bladnoch and Tallarn Glenlivet were only badly hurt and will return for our next match.
The Brothers Cragganmores will be out for the next match (red boxed, miss next game) after the Deadskins teamed up on the blitzers who tried to fend them off with their skills and some well placed whiskey. Who knew?! Undead and Werewolves can't get drunk! The referees seem to enjoy locking up the Scotlings for their use, or in this case misuse, of good hard liquor on those who can't appreciate it.
We here at the CornerStones front office would like the casks taken as evidence for the Cragganmores personal foul returned from the nunery on the adjacent pitch (Mike V's Nuns were playing the Skulltakers on another table) while there is still some left. We will have nun of that!
Morgan 'The Hulk' Bladnoch was having a good night before he was sent off-pitch but even things then signaled something was amiss.
In the first half Bladnoch was running down the pitch, while the rest of the CornerStones were bashing the Deadskins, 90,000 screaming rabid fans on the sidelines, Captain 'Black Kilt' Kellen barking orders like a drill sergeant to the team, and then it happened...
Bladnoch with the endzone in sight, failed to reach the endzone because an overzealous coach decided at that moment bashing was more important that scoring and failed to motivate (move) his runner to glory. The linemen of the cornerstones failed to bash enough zombies, golems, and wolves into the turf and in return were forced beard down (two dice block, both skulls, re-rolled two skulls) while Bladnoch was blitzed and lost the ball.
From the sidelines in the second half, Bladnoch and Tallarn under the watchfull eye of Skarlette the teams apothecary, watched as the blitzer team of the Lochnars actually retrieved the ball and were themsleves headed for the endzone but dodging out of tackle zones into an open portion of the field is tricky and lost the ball themselves. (dodge roll of a 1, re-roll of a 2)
What is left ot be said?!
The game ended in a draw with neither team scoring but the real winner of the game was the pitch itself. It tripped up a werewolves, failed to release golems, and soaked up good whiskey as if it had a life of its own! The owner of the 'Stone' is having the field re-turfed in retribution for the turnover happining to the CornerStones while their star runner was being treated for injuries.
I will leave you with some good news about the team in readiness for next weeks game. Darvelo Dewars, the Scotling Troll Slayer, has hit the blacksmiths shop to gain some strength and with the coaching of the Lochanrs and Vag Talisker learned how to hit with a mighty blow. Also of note was the MVP of the match Vag Talisker for his leadership on and off the pitch by giving pointers to myself and Bladnoch.
Till next week in this corner...
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Active Roster (again)
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #16
Ladies and Gentlemen... and all those without a pillow under your [Insert expletive begining with the letter 'A']!
Week one of the fifth season is barely underway and what a way to begin the week with for the CornerStones. We lost the first game of the season to our brethren the 'Concrete Brawlers'! It would almost seem that it is a trend for the second season coming from the first when it comes to losing but it is what it is with Blood Bowl at it's finest. Nuffles will be proud regardless of the outcome!
Coach John brought his dwarves from far across the sea (ordered a team from Greebo Miniatures) and mixed it up on the pitch well as if he was pouring a foundation out of the CornerStones. In the first half, despite kilts-men receiving the ball, John and his dwarves made of stone aggregates pummeled their fellow dwarves into rubble.
Tallarn Glenlivet, jailed for off-pitch activities (Miss next game from the preseason) involving Emma Stone, cheered through the bars while the teams lawyers earned their pay by getting his sentenced reduced to a simple 'public nudity'. the judge also ordered the scotling to was his bloomers!
I suppose it was brought upon the CornerStones themselves for being complacent over winning the 'Best Dressed' award while on the road and that combined with the excitement (I got over aggressive) and Bladnoch with ball in hand tripped over his own feet (failed a 'go-for-it' with a re-roll) and fell in one yard (square) away from the goal line.
The brawlers would capitalize on this mistake, after taking a couple of blocks, and passed their way down the field in un-dwarfsmen like strategy to take the lead one to zero. Coach John is determined to break the stereotype of 'running' the ball and 'pas's but then again he has aharder head than mine! (He was 50/50 for trying passes)
Now, Bladnoch was having none of the passing game and intercepted the ball from the Brawlers 'runner' with his hat! After the spectacular play (needing 6's to pass, and then a 6 to intercept) coach John was quoted as say 'it was the hat, that damn red hat!"! Captain 'Black Kilt' Kellen only smiled and folded his arms watching from the sidelines. The season of 'spoilers' was well under way indeed.
In the second half the Brawlers recieved the ball and then the stones really hit the pitch. The front line of both teams went down at one point with the death of one brawler lineman.Bladnoch himself went down trying to run an end around (didn't work) and was kncked off the ptich and into the arms of Skarlette the lovely team apothecary who fixed him right up after the Brawlers scored their second touchdown.
With time running out there was nothing left to do for both teams but bash each other and trade whiskey. In other words both teams were too drunk (and the store was closing) and tired to continue the game.
Wishing the 'Concrete Brawlers' well, the CornerStones returned to the clubbhouse for some after hours practice and whiskey brewing which took precedence over selecting the MVP for the game or learning something new to use in the future.
...and then it happened.
Captain 'Black Kilt' Kellen, after reading story about the notorious Lance Armstrong admitting to using Ogre-growth-potions to win at Blood Bowl, decided it was about time to break out some of his black label. Seeing Bladnoch emerge as a star, gain abilities far above of a dwarf (agility four), be run down by drunk Ogre's, and then losing his memory to the accident (losing AV and then reset in season five) was all that he could take. "I've had all that I can stands and I can't stands no more!" he grumbled (jumped up for joy at the MVP roll) and pulled a clear glass flask with a black label from under his kilt.
'Desparate times call for desparate measures!' growled the Captain and declared Bladnoch the MVP( D16 roll). He then promptly ordered the rest of the team, including an activated retired BB Blocker (John Walker Redd) after the game (12 dwarves on the roster), to hold him down on the table while he poured half the black labeled flask down his throat. Finishing off the last of the black label, Captain Kellen wiped the particles from his beard and watched his work in action.
The stench of the liquid was something only smelled by dwarf brewers just before brewed their last deaths-bed batch or maybe after they died, but in either case the whiskey brewed contained a content of magical proportions. (Skill roll double 6's!) Bladnoch turned a greenish shade, about choked on his own vomit and the fart he let out cleared the room, yet he lived to much to the disappointment of his rivals on other teams! (Something about goblin tossing from the other game! )
Gentlemen, we have built a stronger (+1 STR), less agile than before runner, but none is more prouder of Morgan "The Hulk" Bladnoch than Captain Kellen and the CornerStones.
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Active Roster (again)
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #15
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Just a teaser... for Newsletter #16.
Strength 4...
I'll be in the the corner composing... and ask Chuck and Jay not to kiss and tell.
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Active Roster (again)
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #14
Ladies and Gentlemen... and all our brothers who still lay in the pitch... goodbye and good riddance!...
The CornerStones went out of town this last weekend after coming off a 'insert your own negative adjective' preseason. While they recover from some off pitch activities (injuried, miss next game) the 'traveling' squad, led by Vag Talisker #8, climbed into modern transportation and headed for the coast with some other 'stunty' looking teams and chaotic coaches. Thankfully the traditional Dwarf versus High Elf confrontation was kept to a minimum while traveling together.
One argument among the CornerStones cropped up when Tallarn Glenlivet #7 and Vag Talisker #8 argued over the position of 'leader' of the traveling sqaud but ended it with a stalemeate as both dwarves consumed shots of whiskey and bacon bits till one passed out to see 'who would lead who' on the field and receive special privileges respective of that position. In the end Vag tied with Tallarn, with both of them simultaneously passing out till shortly before the first kickoff. The rest of the traveling squad, including myself (John Walker Redd) for this event, voted (and ate the last of the bacon) for Vag to lead the team but at the last moment it was determined the 'leader' (decided on 'guard' for Vag instead of 'leader' for this tournament) package was left at home. Vag had to settle over the moniker of 'Captain' without any special favor.
After recovering from the smoke belching, growling, auto-mobile ride the team arrived along the coast to play in the 'Lucky 13' Tournament. Many of the players were thirsty after travelling and partook in the local drink called 'caff- fiend'. A bitter drink that will open your eyes, the gridiron squad of the CornerStones will bring back with them locally to help them 'sober' up for more drinking after a good days practice!
Matching up teams in a tournament can be tedious but after a short delay (ACC Nate had to pick up someone) the CornerStones were facing a Chaotic Dwarf team called 'The Orient Distress'. Now, for those of you familiar with the evil brothers of the stone, it was very apparent that it was not a traditional Chaos Dwarf team. Due to the reputation that the CornerStones bring with them seemed to have scared off the chaotic dwarves and left the hobgoblins and bull centaur to defend their tainted brethren's reputation. In the end the first game of the CornerStones it ended in a tough, tough draw (0-0) with the hobgoblins receiving dwarf foot prints on their backs (three casualties, none for the CornerStones).
With a quick snack of the local food sprinkled with remnants of the 'leadership fight' (bacon bits) sprinkled on the peezzah (round baked bread with toppings) the next match was against the local Mayor, and coach, named ACCC Nate. With dwarves being dwarves, the match up between two rival, but allied clans, was by chance but could have been easily been demanded.
What can be said about dwarf on dwarf action? Both teams bashed each other in traditional style but the elder coach, Nate, schooled the younger coach Captain 'Black Kilt' Kellen in the finer points of running the ball WHILE bashing instead of just focusing on one or the other. In the end Nate and his team won the match 2-0 with only one casualty caused by the CornerStones. Coach Nate also won the traditional 'whose beard is better than whose' contest between the coaches as a matter of course (Nate wears a beard and I don't!) and will receive the barrel of 'Bladnoch Triple-X' by overland mail since real dwarves don't ship by water!
The last game of the 'Lucky 13' Tournament was against and odd team of goblins and trolls coached by a Norseman named 'viking Mike'. It's odd because in the 'Bacon League' he is known for coaching a Norse Team who love to wear fur coats. It is also of odd note that the entire Yoyodyne Team was composed of players named 'Jon'. I don't don't what inspired their 'buckeroo banzai' but it was decided accordingly on the pitch.
Dwarves are known for their deathrollers and other contraptions but the obnoxiousness, biting, smoking, hand held, tree cutter (chainsaw) was something to see. In fact I (John walker Redd) was so startled by the mechanism that I was too slow in getting out of the way as the goblin swung it in my direction during one play and had to be removed from the game.
Typically weapons aren't allowed in Blood Bowl and the sneaky gits who bring them are carted of the field but the referee's for this match looked a little green to my eyes as Jon 'the tree cutter' remained in play and knocked out Captain Vag Talisker and Gavin Tobermory before he and his fanatical ball and chain Jon 'The Fanatic' were taken off the field by replacement refs!
Fortunately for the CornerStones Captain Talisker was able to return to the game after our team Apothecary, the lovely red-head Skarrlette, fixed him up with her own 'special brew' and returned to tender myself and Tobermory.
The last portion of the final match ended in victory for the CornerStones by bashing the 'Yoyo's' so badly that they gave up two touchdowns and scored none fo their own.
It was a great day of Blood Bowl for all the fans, coaches, and teams that attended the 'Lucky 13' Torunament along the coast, even if it was a bit salty in the air. There was much celebration in the 'auto-mobile' during the journey home by all!
We here at the CornerStone front office are now preparing for the regular season which begins this Thursday (Nuffles Day) and will send the 'good kilts' to those fans who we made and selected the CornerStones as the 'Best Dressed' (I won best appearance for the tournament!) at the tournament.
To a Job well done by the Sponsors (ACCC Nate, his helpers, and Atlantis Comics) of the 'Lucky 13', we salute you!
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Inactive Roster (again)
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #13
Ladies and Gentlemen... and all the people in the cheap seats playing cards (magic tournament today)!
I bring you news of another loss. So... what else is new!
Mid-day today the CornerStones played the the English Knights recently arrived from far off lands that smell of elderberry wine. It was a very cordial arrival off the pitch but after the CornerStones won the coin toss it was a grinder on the ground and flight threw the air.
The English Knights, not to be confused with the French Daze, were much faster than the CornerStones defense could muster, block players into the turf, or catch as they ran after them. Apparently a bit too much of the private reserves were consumed after the celebratory killing of the Pactastic's Minotaur and the effects were noticeable.
The Obans watched on as the High Elves scored quickly in their second play of the game and while the troll slayers recovered from a sober-in-public charge (injury, Miss next game) occurring in a dwarven section of town that the teams laywer, Ret. Judge Mills Lane, could not get reduced. The Obans begged the league staff to play but the referee's kept a watchful eye on the Obans chomping at the bit and drink to get back into the game. The CornerStones are looking into (painting) the background of the league referees for anything 'suspicious' due to the attention given by the league officials.
Bladnoch did manage to gather up 'Mister Pig' at one point but two of the fastest, pointy eared, dandelion eating, and tree hugging elves manged to stuff Morgan into the turf (solid two die block) and Mister Pig squealed for his older brother 'Bacon McRib' (new model to use as a fan in progress, 'cost' in progress for sponsorship) to save him but the elder pig was no where to be found for this match. The two elves managed to catch Mister Pig after he bounced back in bounds and scored the English Knights second point easily.
Ending the half Bladnoch had the ball but as time (not enough movement to score) ran out the CornerStones sent the elves turf diving which helped them immensely by knocking out three elf players who joined an earlier knocked out elf in the grass (yellow boxed) alongside an elf lineman with a smashed knee (niggling injury, red boxed).
In the second half the weather changed and a winter blizzard caused slight havoc on the field reducing the line of visibility for the elven throwers. As an aside, the CornerStones feel that some sort of trickery from a wizard was involved and are looking into their own wizard to help them out in the future (wizard for sponsorship in progress).
Now, after a brief drink from Skarrlette (apothecary) and a stern look from Captain 'Black Kilt' Kellen, the cornerStones got down to business. The Dwarves didn't manage to score in the second half by causing a turn-over but they did manage to put the remaining elves on the turf for a full turn. The elves on the other hand were held to a single touchdown at the expense of Tallarn Glenlivett missing the next game by dropping his 'flask' while showing the elves his 'dwarf parts'. This procedure (injury) was looked at in the crystal ball but was confirmed as a personal foul for dropping excellent whiskey brewed last decade in Tallarn's manure pile.
Neither team did exceptionally well, despite the elves win, (both missed the Commish's Challenge) so only one MVP for the game was awarded. The Dewars bothers were noted by the team and selected as the CornerStones MVP of the match and the English Knights Catcher seems to be able to 'dodge' (gained the dodge skill) himself into the MVP spot as well.
The Cornerstones released one journeymen they needed for a full roster but did manage to sign the other journeyman as a full time player from their depleted treasury. Skrall Garioch (jr) will replaced his father on the team (hired lineman) and a new journeyman, who shall not be named, will round out the CornerStones roster for the first game of the season due to Glenlivet's personal foul.
We would like to leave you with good news instead of 'Cask of Sorrow'. Vag Talisker already guarding his fellow players well on and off the pitch has been drinking a bit less, within team bylaws, and spending some time at the local blacksmiths which has resulted in our fellow dwarf readying himself for the season opener stronger and eager for some mighty blows. (gained the mighty blow skill)
Till we drink in other corners... We'll have nun of that!...
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Inactive Roster
Offical CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #12
Ladies and Gentlemen... and all dead minotaurs...
Preseason has started!
The CornerStones, true to their nature, have lost their first preseason game on the first day of preseason to last seasons champs the Super Pactastic Renegades by a score of 3 - 0... and what a brute fest is was.
It started off with the CornerStones Coach, Captain "Black Kilt" Kellen (model completed for sponsorship), trying out a new set of formations to see if the 'Renegades' were more strength or agility oriented. Last season the dwarves lined up like gnomes on the pitch with no real organization but this year are determined to be a force to be reckoned with. Bladnoch lined up in the back field while the others formed a 'tight' defensive posture.
The weather favored the start of the season (perfect weather) while the CornerStones lost the coin toss pitched out of bounds (Mike pitched the coin off the board and behind the extra stuff on the table) by a visiting coach named 'Viking Mike' from some very cold, very forgetable place, with entirely too many fur coats.
Back and forth went the first half with many knock downs by the dwarves, the 'Renegades' scoring, and a beast man being killed (first roll) and then burried (apothecary used, second roll... death) in the red box. The 'Pactastics' were definatley knocked down but scored again in the last play of the half.
During half-time, Skarrlette (Team Apothecary, model completed for sponsorship) served a healing brew to the team who were in good spirits. The weather changed and it became a sweltering afternoon (change in the weather at kickoff) which caused three of the CornerStones to be sidelined (Blitzer, Slayer, Lineman). the other side of the field was effected with a couple of beastmen being unable to take the pitch as well so things on both sides of the line were pretty even.
The 'Pactastics' really tried to turn the second half into 'theirs' but the CornerStones were able to keep the ball away from them till Bladnoch was double teamed (two die block) and knocked to the ptich. Fortunately, Bladnoch was not injuried or killed seeing as how this particular dwarf has been at the top of his game, recovered from a glass-rib, and lost his memory from being run over by a team of Ogres and Goblins during the off-season.
The Pactastics decided the 'bomb' was too much for them and threw a long pass out of the range of all the dwarves. Captain Kellen decided the only acceptable thing to do was to end the game the CornerStone way, which is also the dwarven way, by breaking out the whiskey.
SPR and the CornerStones, to the fans cheers, simply stood on the field and bashed each other for two turns resulting in Skrall Garioch being killed, the Obans missing the next game (Apothecary re-roll, instead of losing movmeent (the same as last season) , and Tallarn Glennlivet being knocked out.
As a matter of course SPR scored but not before their star Minotaur, with a very forgetable name, was killed by four CornerStones surrounding the rampaging beast and pouring Bladnoch's 'Triple-X' down his throat! The crowd went wild and cheered for the Cragganmores (blitzer) who did the deed for the rest of the league and forgot the victory by SPR.
With the loss, Captain Kellen only looked on with pride in his stare at last seasons champs, knowing that the CornerStones had achieved one of it's goals prior to the season openeing. The CornerStones had delivered so many blocks on the pitch (waaaaay more then 12 two-die blocks), as did SPR, that he was allowed to award two MVPS for the game. Mitchie Glennfiddich was singled out for his ability to assist his fellow players and unofficially was the dwarf of the match. (gained 'guard' ability)
I'd go into more details of the party in the stands that followed the game but decorum, and my hangover, prevent it!
Till Saturday in the corner versus the High Elves we'll mourn our dead by drinking to them, look for journeymen in dwarven bars, and try to remain conscious...
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Inactive Roster
Offical CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #11
Ladies and Gentlemen... Somewhere in the rules this means I should include Nate...
After a blurry hiatus the CornerStones are returning to 'The Stone' for another season of bacon chasing, bashing, and whiskey drinking. Last season closed with the team being not just beaten but shown what a 'real' beating should include. Coach Dave 'schooled' the Captain and it will not be soon forgotten. The 'Captain' was quoted, while downing his fifth drought, 'lesson learned... now pass me the triple x!'
Even with the pre-season still a few days off the CornerStones have news that will shake the sturdiness of foundations.
As it is well known the star of last season was Morgan Bladnoch earning much fame (50 spp in one season) and fortune while being a runner for the Cornerstones. In his last game though the toll was high, as it is in BloodBowl, and Bladnoch was injuried to the effect of what dwarves commonly call a 'glass rib' (-1 to his AV).
Distraught over the injury the dwarven runner passed his time developing a special brew to inspire himself for Season Five and was very succesfull. So successful was Bladnoch that the local glass maker inscribed his name on a special glass to commemorate his 'whiskey' that can only be called a concotion since you had to spit out the particles after drinking a pint... if you were a non-dwarf.
The Cornerstones were delighted and celebrating the creation when Bladnoch stumbled out of the club house and into the street to be run down by the Ogres of 'Touch Down There' on their off season party called 'The Thunder Run'... accidentally of course.
Bladnoch was taken to the team apothecary while the local authorities were notified by the team lawyer but neither attempt were successful. The local authorities turned a blind eye to the situation citing 'drunk dwarves get stepped on all the time' and dismissed any notion of 'legal' action and Bladnoch fell into a deep sleep from which no amount of healling could wake him.
Only this past week with the announcement of the 5th Season did Bladnoch even open his eyes but not without consequences. Bladnoch seems to have lost all memory of his extra ordinary skills. He can remember simple (rookie skills) but his toes seem to have lost their twinkle (no more AG 4) along with his ability to block. The dwarven runner has even gone so far as to write his name on the back of his hand since he can remember that either.
With the departure of Ossai Jura from the team Baldnoch will be the starting, albiet rookie, runner for the team in their second season together. The rest of the team seems to be unchanged with no loss of skills other than the disparate skills of a seasoned ball handler.
The treasury for the team will be depleted prior to the season opener and I, John Walker Redd, will step back into an inactive status to save the team some gold which will be used to retain the skilled players as well as the team apothecary.
I look forward to keeping you informed as the teams writer and spokesman as well as the CornerStones staus thorughout the season,
Let Season five begin!... with some drinks!
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, InActive Roster
Offical CornerStone Spokesman
After a blurry hiatus the CornerStones are returning to 'The Stone' for another season of bacon chasing, bashing, and whiskey drinking. Last season closed with the team being not just beaten but shown what a 'real' beating should include. Coach Dave 'schooled' the Captain and it will not be soon forgotten. The 'Captain' was quoted, while downing his fifth drought, 'lesson learned... now pass me the triple x!'
Even with the pre-season still a few days off the CornerStones have news that will shake the sturdiness of foundations.
As it is well known the star of last season was Morgan Bladnoch earning much fame (50 spp in one season) and fortune while being a runner for the Cornerstones. In his last game though the toll was high, as it is in BloodBowl, and Bladnoch was injuried to the effect of what dwarves commonly call a 'glass rib' (-1 to his AV).
Distraught over the injury the dwarven runner passed his time developing a special brew to inspire himself for Season Five and was very succesfull. So successful was Bladnoch that the local glass maker inscribed his name on a special glass to commemorate his 'whiskey' that can only be called a concotion since you had to spit out the particles after drinking a pint... if you were a non-dwarf.
The Cornerstones were delighted and celebrating the creation when Bladnoch stumbled out of the club house and into the street to be run down by the Ogres of 'Touch Down There' on their off season party called 'The Thunder Run'... accidentally of course.
Bladnoch was taken to the team apothecary while the local authorities were notified by the team lawyer but neither attempt were successful. The local authorities turned a blind eye to the situation citing 'drunk dwarves get stepped on all the time' and dismissed any notion of 'legal' action and Bladnoch fell into a deep sleep from which no amount of healling could wake him.
Only this past week with the announcement of the 5th Season did Bladnoch even open his eyes but not without consequences. Bladnoch seems to have lost all memory of his extra ordinary skills. He can remember simple (rookie skills) but his toes seem to have lost their twinkle (no more AG 4) along with his ability to block. The dwarven runner has even gone so far as to write his name on the back of his hand since he can remember that either.
With the departure of Ossai Jura from the team Baldnoch will be the starting, albiet rookie, runner for the team in their second season together. The rest of the team seems to be unchanged with no loss of skills other than the disparate skills of a seasoned ball handler.
The treasury for the team will be depleted prior to the season opener and I, John Walker Redd, will step back into an inactive status to save the team some gold which will be used to retain the skilled players as well as the team apothecary.
I look forward to keeping you informed as the teams writer and spokesman as well as the CornerStones staus thorughout the season,
Let Season five begin!... with some drinks!
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, InActive Roster
Offical CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #10
Ladies and Gentlemen... and followers of cheese...
It is with great sorrow that I bring you the news of a terrifying game. What words can describe it... house of cards, how the mighty fall, name taking and skull breaking, nothing seems adequate so I will just describe some of the highlights of the CornerStone season closer.
The CornerStones leave their rookie season with a record of 3-4 or a record of 3-8-1 if you count the preseason and all the challenge matches.
In the closing of the regular season the dwarves faced the mighty Skulltakers and veteran Coach Dave. Does much more need to be said about the skills of this team... I think not. Coach Dave has a busy schedule with two teams and is in bloodthirsty with one as he is with the other. Dark Chaotic smiles, buzzing of flies, and warp energies are borught down upon him as he does what he does best... kill, maim, and destroy without hesitation. Daemon in a bottle? We think so.
To psych themselves up, the entire team of the CornerStones went out drinking the night before the game since they were playing mutated minotaurs, chaotic warriors, and beastmen claws. Even the skies above the pitch clouded over (Couldn't find my pitch at FTW. Where is it? Not in the office.) and Mister Pig went into hiding. (Dave just wanted to use the spiked ball I have instead of Mister Pig)
In clear weather for the Skulltakers the CornerStones decided to receive the ball thinking they could get off some good plays before the game of 'bashing' began. Receiving the ball well enough Bladnoch, veteran runner, grabbed the ball and tried to quick pass to the Lochnars since his head was still spinning from the 'breakfast of ex-champions' (whiskey or beer... we're not quite sure). The pass required more thought than his thick skull could handle at the moment, faked the pass (had to use a re-roll) and then passed to the Lochnars who failed to catch the ball.
The Skulltakers seeing the prize easily within reach bashed their way through the fuzzy faced dizzy headed CornerStones and promptly ran over (red boxed and badly hurt the Lochnars (blitzer)) and gained the ball on the dwarf side of the field driving down for a touchdown but not before knocking out the Obans (troll slayer) for the rest of the game. (unable to roll a four or better three times to get him out of the yellow box).
Then the bashing began...
The Skulltakers and the CornerStones hit each other in their own unique styles but Chaos smiled upon it's chosen and allowed them to score again but not before pounding the popular dwarf runner Twinkleotes into the pitch. Such were the cries of pain from the ptich that it attracted spectators as Coach John and the Local Mayor Marius (FTW employee) who dismissed the towns usual curfew after the game. (kept the store open so we could finish the last two turns of the game)
Captain Kellen, the coach for the CornserStones was worried about his player and hovered over his player to try and determine if he was all right. At one point Twnkle toes died on the field (Dave rolled death for the injury) but the Captain's prayers to Nuffles and Odin were answered (used the apothecary). Bladnoch was revived but did not return to the game nor will he be healthy enough to play for quite some time. It seems Bladnoch has developed a 'glass rib' and will carry the injury the rest of his days. (AV reduced to 7)
The CornerStones did try a come back with the reserves from the bench but playing into Choas hands Osai Jura the back-up runner, and two other linemen were not enough for the 'claws'. Ossai Jura was injured on the field as well and will be hampered by a broken leg (-1 MV) and his return to Blood Bowl is assuredly out of the question due to the nature of the injuries location.
It was valiant effort though. The ball was as slipper for Chaos as it was for the CornerStones but Chaos Undivided loves the bashing more than holding onto 'stuff' but even the chosen must play by mortal rules and win the game, the smaller battle, while Chaos spreads over the Blood Bowl Leagues. (The bigger battle)
I would like to thank all the fans who did come out for the game and asure them that the free whiskey will be available next season just as promised. We would like to note that the '17th' man jerseys, the special edition fan jersey, will be available for those who asked about them at a reduced cost to those that preordered and a complimentary cask of Jura Whiskey for those tall enough to reach the table and drink it.
With the record of the CornerStones as it is, the playoffs are unlikely so the front office is going into a recovery mode with no practice sessions this upcoming week.
Thank you again, see you next season...
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Active Roster
Offical CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #9 - Dwarf on Dwarf
Ladies and Gentlemen... and all the bearded folk on the forum... this includes the women too!...
Friday night was a 'closed pitch' night game versus Coach John and his Dwarves for the CornerStones. For those of you who don't know what 'closed pitch' means it is a term among dwarven bloodbowl teams where the contest is an event only attended by the races involved in the game thus all corners of the stadium were filled with bearded folk, beer, and of course the CornerStone single 'X' Whiskey brewed in a secret location... last week.
It was thought early in the game that the weather might change after clouds began to roll in and block the half-moon in the night sky but (the changing weather roll) a gentle wind only caused the ball to drift a bit further than normal and cooled the watching bearded fans while they chugged down enough brew to flood a mega-city or small country.
Mister pig was in fine form as he bounced around the field but early on he looked for TwinkleToes Bladnoch to pick him up. Squealing, because that's what pigs do, at the top of his lungs, Mister Pig jumped right into the arms of Bladnoch as he tried to find a hole in the line to attempt a second touchdown for the season.
Folks, it took some time while the dwarves on both sides of the line knocked each other over but couldn't stun each other enough to keep someone down. It's true that those thick skulls of dwarves, in dwarf on dwarf action, are good for something other than a hat rack!... Thick skulls are also good for testing clubs... or squashing snotlings in the wrong place at the right time... or for ogres...
Finally Bladnoch made a run for it down field when he saw daylight through the line of scrimmage. Let's say that there was a hole but it was mighty thin for a dwarf to run through even with the agility of TwinkleToes. With daylight fading in the line Baldnoch turned on the speed and ran like the local Sherrif was chasing him after a night with his daughter. (True story)
The middle portion of the game was filled with the CornerStones and Coach Johns Dwarves standing toe to toe and beating each other up (blocking dwarves and rolling lots of block results) with some occasions being nothing more than slap fights.
At one point Coach John's slayer was tripped up by the pitch, since the CornerStones weren't doing it, and had to be carried off the field. Initially it was thought that the slayer had a broken back (-1 AG) but the Team Apothecary cracked the slayers back in the opposite direction, gave him a shot of 'Bugmanns XXX', and placed him in reserves till needed next (only badly hurt on the re-roll).
While Coach John jumped up and down to get his slayer back onto the field (had to sit in the reserve box) to no avail since 'Bugmanns XXX' is also used as a sedative in certain clans, TwinkleToes was busy on the field.
John had managed to mentor his team to within inches of the goal line but TwinkleToes Bladnoch took matters into his own hands by blitzing the opposing dwarven runner. To the suprise of the fans (since my runner has block and John's doesn't), TwinkleToes slammed the runner to the turf before he could score. Mister Pig jumped from one runner to the next (the bounce landed him directly in TwinkleToes lap) and bladnoch ran down to the opposite end of the field and scored since the local Sheriff appeared on the sideline to arrest him for 'public indecency'. (Included in the 'Non-Bearded Daughter Story' best left for another corner!)
Our team lawyer Mills B. Lane smoothed things over with the Sherrif (Hid the dwarf in an empty corner) as it seemed Bladnoch had run out of the end-zone, through the fans, and out the stadium until his scheduled interview. The authorities have decided to summarily put Bladnoch on probation for any violations as long as he stays away from the Sheriffs daughter. (Not a chance!)
Twinkletoes would like to thank all the fans, Coach John and his team, and the local Sheriff's daughter for such a memorable night and hopes they can do it again soon. Rumors have it that there was a smirk on his face and a twinkle in his eye when he dictated the last part. He would also apologize to the fans who thought the 'CornerStones' might be playing in the local 'Bacon Bowl'. The Irish Princess Rule came into effect (my wife's birthday) and the team was not eligible this year for the event.
We here at the CornerStone front office woujld like to thank coach John for the match and his Mighty (Blow) Troll Slayer for teaching the Blitzing Brothers Lochnar's the finer points of 'hit'n bigger git's' that also works on 'littler gits'. (The Lochnars (blitzer) gained the MVP and the skill 'Mighty Blow')
Till the CornerStones last match this week...
John walker Redd, BB Blocker, Active Roster
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #8 - What a Party!
Ladies and Gentlemen... and to those that are still sober in the stands, streets, and pitch...
It was 'Fan Night' for the CornerStones and the fans got all that they wished for and more!
First off after the CornerStone 'Bye' week filled with fish oil plant tours and much drinking in a concession by another team the CornerStones were able to get more time in to prepare for there last three matches of the season. (Church and his team were ruled a 'concede' in accordance with the league rules. The CornerStones front office was gratefull for the the gifts sent over by Coach Church and hope everything works out differently in the future. ( Please do not be offend Church this is only for fun.)
During there extra time of practice (5 or 10 minutes while I updated my roster) Twinkletoe Bladnoch worked on his moves (gained another MVP but no skills) and The Blitzing Brothers Cragganmores were taught some finer points on 'guarding' opponents from Vag Talisker and Tallarn Glenlivet. (The Cragganmores gained the second MVP from the concession getting the skill 'guard').
Now, due to the extra practice, the concessions sent over by coach Church and the endless supply of whiskey from the CornerStone private stock, 'Touch Down There' noticed the frolicing of the dwarves and were irritated by all the levety. Seems Ogres don't have an ear for music nor like the thought of being called scared by people with beards. Go figure!(Mike and I scheduled a challenge match)
T.D.T. was down an Ogre from another 'engagement' but were determined to 'dirty the beards'!
So, on a beautiful afternoon without a cloud in the sky the fans adored the Ogres at the begining of the match (won the cheering fan roll on the kickoff table) but soon the ptich was a slick mess due to all the barrels of whiskey the CornerStones used as some sort of distraction for the Ogres. (Mike rolled some 'ones' for bonehead and we used my barrels to mark them)
Bladnoch was able to get into the endzone for the second time this season while his team mates The Cragganmores fouled an Ogre but got caught by the referees. (rolled doubles and failed to do diddly)
On the second drive of the game the dwarves kicked off to the Ogres and the ball went off the pitch and a snotling with a very forgettable name promtply tucked the ball away but the CornerStones perfect defense blitzed the Ogres and in the next couple of plays the Lochnars (dwarf blitzer) was able to score. The crowd went wild and more barrels were thrown onto the field for celebration.
Late in the game the whiskey was flowing and suddenly the match turned into one big party on the pitch for both teams and the fans. (It was getting late,Mike needed to run and conceded... and I didn't beat up any more of his Ogres who were not responding (rolling ones left and right, burning rerolls)
Here in the CornerStone front office we are still recovering from the liquid libations but will never forget the snotlings hoisting John Walker Black on there shoulders and traipsing him around the field for a Polish Victory Lap (please do not be offended it only meant to be funny) (MVP for BOTH rolls of concession went to Black)
Next week the CornerStones face another corner of claw infested Chaos whose name we cannot remember due to a hangover...
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Active Roster
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #7
Ladies and Gentlemen... I'd include Mike but I think the hangover may be interfering with his hearing... Ladies and Gentlemen... Now, that's better...
This week was slow for the CornerStones as they scouted (watched Viking Mike and Mike) play a match last weekend. It was a gruelfing match between the ogres and norse with a draw resulting in the conclusion of the event. As the official CornerStone spokesman though I think the Norse team was scared for not wanting to go into overtime to settle the meeting of the two teams. Here at the CornerStone front office (my house) we have a saying... If you're scared, say you're scared! A message has been sent to the Vikings with no response as of yet! (probably hasn't read this newsletter yet - )
In the teams spare time this week between drinking, eating, drinking, practice, drinking, and sleeping it off they visted the local fish oil plant in Reedville. All I can say is the drunk team, combined with fish rendering, the rain, the smell, and a long walk resulted in the team being unable to get any games in till late in the week.
At the last moment, due to their habits, the CornerStones were unable to get in a game in week five but wil return this week in six. (John cancelled due to being ill. I officially take the 'bye' for week five to reset the team.)
The fornt office does have an official message for all the loyal fans who missed out on the free whiskey at the CornerStone events...
We call out the Chaos Claws (Dave), the Coach named Church (Church), A team that must no be named (last challenge match for the season )and Last weeks opponent (John).
Why would the fornt office do this public announcment? These teams seem to be soooo busy (real life, illness, other matches) that we need to nail down the last four games of the season prior to the 2nd of November. We are also doing this to say... If you're scared of thorwing, running, blocking dwarf Tinkletoes Baldnoch and the CornerStones... then say you're scared. We are also doing it becasue it's great publicity for the ConerStone! (True dat!)
Until we meet again in the corner... turn off the bubble machine...
John Walker Redd, BB Blocker, Active Roster
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #6
Ladies... as I don't see any gentlemen in the crowd, smoking jacket or not!...
If there were to be a theme for week three for the CornerStones, it would be 'Fast and Furious' or 'Crime and Punishment', maybe both!
Week three ended Friday night with a closeout game against the Super Pactastic Renegades in which the continuing idea of 'appeasement and drink' and let them score went unbroken. I would say more but nothing of note happened except for the seven players carted off the field for excessive celebration. (three red boxed, two yellow boxed, two fouled out at one point) Mills B. Lane the CornerStones council was on his toes but his attention to detail didn't help in getting the wayward drunkards back onto the field. Fortunately they all made bail and were present for week four's events.
Saturday night was the Leagues 'Game and Grill' with visiting teams and plenty of events. The Cornerstones drank themselves into a double header which may have been a miscalculation on the leagues part in scheduling. (What was I thinking! )
First up the CornerStones sponsors "Touch Down There", demanded (scheduled a challenge) a match after the 'Stone' was short on sending over their supply of triple malt whiskey for the TDT snotlings. Now, the TDT squad had just picked up a new ogre on the line and the other ogres had been finally beaten over the head with a hammer enough to realize they could actually 'guard' each other. As a matter of course the newbie on the squad could comprehend 'guard', let alone 'stand up' (failed bonehead roll) and spent much of the first half on his back while the CornerStones poured drinks on his chest (fouled him to no avail).
TDT wasn't taking the 'wasting' of drink and had to show the dwarves the error of there ways (five red boxed, one loss of MV, one loss of next game, and two yellow boxed). The 'Stone' though quickly sent over plenty of whiskey for the snotlings (and beer for Mike) which caused the game to be called early. (Mike took a gentleman's knee due to 'one to many' and the fact he had to play Nate in a scheduled match and called the game a draw.)
The second match was a game of brutallity. The elder dwarves in the laegue had been waiting to show the 'young pups without beards' a thing or two about how dwarves really play the game of bloodbowl. Murderface, almost legendary in the league', had a particularly eventful night and even scored a touchdown. He did spend some time on the pitch itself, but it was due to his own choosing (pile on moves) and bit,twisted ankles, and caused general mayhem reveling in victory.
The CornerStones, against the IronClads, didn't fair well. At one point the referee's, obviously in the pockets of the Ironclads, had locked up seven of thirteen players, (five red boxed, two yellow boxed and failed to get back onto the ptich... twice each!). The charges were trumped up and the CornerStones are paying through the nose with three of the players taken to the local authorities for further questioning. Mills is on the job but the outlook is bleak for these three players getting out of jail till week five. (three players missing the next game, one player losing one point of MV)
The only bright spot of the fast, furious, brutal, punishing forty eight hours was that Morgan 'Twinkletoes" Bladnoch scored the teams first touchdown of the season. (It took eight games for me to score once.) He was beaten up a bit but still managed to gain some completions and has scheduled some training (gained 'dump off pass') this week to 'pitch a ball' while being hit.
We here at CornerStone front office would like to thank the league staff (Jerimiah) for the 'Game and Grill' weekend and will remember to get out earlier (didn't finish my match against Dave till 2:30am) when the league officials give them the look! (He was fading due to the time.)
As an aside, due to the jail time of the CornerStones, myself, and Kellen Edradour (new addition), have been recalled to active duty as blockers. The league has seen fit that it is only right that I start in the fifth week (due to being red boxed by Dave on Saturday night in his second game) and I thank them for all their support (Thanks Dave! ) Edradour will start immediately due to his prior eligibility in the draft (I bought him after the match with Dave).
Till we meet again,
John Walker Redd
Active BloodBowl Blocker
Official CornerStones Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #5
Gentlemen... since you scared the Ladies away... Mike, I'm looking at you!... :p
Week three for the Cornerstones is starting off just like the rest... drunk, a challenge match, and loss. The owner of the Cornerstones is solidly behind the team (he has no choice really) and has ordered even more practice to ensure that first season of the Scotlings is not the last. Whiskey Production is Scotland has doubled, but that is another story that is unrelated... at this time. (My fan whiskey barrels are in progress!)
With a slip of the keyboard, the advancement (+1 agility) to Morgan Bladnoch was forgotten in the last newsletter since 'slander' has a way of doing that! Team practice, a whipping boy, and finally breaking through the thick skull of the Scotling runner, has caused him to figure out how to stay on his feet better than many. His teammates since dubbed him Morgan 'Twinkletoes" Bladnoch since 'The Flash' is a copyright infringement with Marvel comics... we think.
This Sunday though, while not grave, was a game of trial and punishment for the CornerStones against the Orczillions. Both teams came into the match thinking that they were scheduled for a match but as it turns out both teams need remedial reading classes and it ended up being a challenge match instead.
Mitchie Glennfiddich was arrested (fouled out on doubles) on field due to his practice of hitting another Orc player while he was down. Now, since this is Bloodbowl, it isn't necessarily punishable but our Lawyer (apothecary) was unable to get a plea deal with the officials of the game and Mitchie spent his time under 'Fan Arrest' on the orc sideline and also went without any whiskey to drown out the Ork Bloodweiser babes that kept dancing to the tune 'Shake your groove thing!'. We here at the CornerStone front office think that the Orczillions have an agreement with 'Touch Down There', one of our sponsors, over this particular choice and think they are burning the candle at both ends! At this time there is no comment from the owner of 'Touch down there' and do not expect (nor want) one.
The bright sunlight was a hindrance for both teams this afternoon (-1 to pass) and Mister Pig had a great day bouncing from one player to another causing turnovers. At one point Ossai Jura of the CornerStones passed to 'Twinkletoes', missed with an inaccurate pass, but Mister Pig was happy to jump back into the hands of Ossai none the less and prevented a turnover. It seems Jura has a thing for bacon like our pig.
I am happy to report that despite the loss no one was arrested and incarcerated for the next game or killed. At one point Gavin Tobermory Jr., playing his first game, was slammed to the turf by the local authorities and dragged from the field, but our Lawyer (apothecary) due to his 'army legal training' was able to prevent his arrest (death) and copped a deal for Gavin Jr. to stay on the sidelines under arrest as time served (badly hurt).
As an aside the front office would like the two unaccounted casks of whiskey returned to the CornerStones that were guarded by Gavin Jr. during his arrest.
The real star of the game, despite not being named MVP this challenge match, was Twinkletoes. While a mess of players fought on the pitch during the last play of the game, Twinkletoes managed to foul an Orc lineman to the point that the current Orc Maddoc (apothecary) was only able to patch him up where he would miss the next game and carry the injury into the rest of the season (niggling injury).
Tallarn Glenlivet, the MVP of this challenge match, would like to thank the 2000 fans that attended our game and voted him (rolled the dice) the MVP many thanks and drinks are or on the house till Tuesday.
For our fans I am able to confirm that the teams kilts are on order and will arrive shortly. (The team has three members left to be painted!)
Until next time, I will be in the corner...
John Walker Redd, Ret. BB Blocker
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #4 - Slander We Say!
Ladies and Gentlemen... and I really mean the spectators... :p
Slander has been thrown in the face of the dear, sweet, short, kilt wearing, dwarven team known as the CornerStones!
"Slander!"
I report from a bystander which may or may not be worse than coming from a rival team of the league. Kilroy of the local chapter of S.P.R. has accuse the owner of the CornerStones, and by a this accusation the team itself, of being the reason behind this seasons questionable kill count. It appears that there is some relationship between Kilroy and the Super Pactastic Renegades but this is still under investigation.
"Slander!"
The official statement from the teams Lawyer (apothecary), Ret. Judge Mills B. Lane, is that they are a fun loving, whiskey drinking, bloodbowl playing band of dwarves doing what they do best. Any deaths are strictly coincidental and have nothing to do with their off-pitch activities nor drinking on the field during the game. "Cabers fall on people all the time, if you are too sober to survive the hit, then maybe you should stay on the bench or drink more!" - Tallarn Glennlivet, CornerStone Blocker
The official statement from the CornerStones owner to Kilroy is....
"Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah..."
John Walker Redd, Ret. BB Bocker
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #3
Ladies and Gentlemen... a term that does not apply to our league!
John Walker Redd here with another exciting episode of how the CornerStones turn...
It was a grave week for the CornerStones as the blocker Gavin Tobermory was killed in action. A Rat Ogre named Limburger, smelling the same as the cheese, ate him in retribution for a series pokes to the eye, fouls, knock downs, bribes, and stuns. BloodBowl has no fury like a chittering, warpstone doping, behemoth of death unless it is a minotaur, ogre, treeman, or werewolf. Applications for his position on the team are now open for consideration.
During the funeral of Blocker Tobermory his son Gavin Tobermory Jr. expressed interest in how to honor his father besides downing half a cask of the family brew and expelling foul gases that would clear a crowded stadium. I am proud to inform the followers of the CornerStones that Tobermory Jr. will be our newest blocker on the team. Applications for the position of blocker are now closed.
Another addition to the CornerStones is retired Judge Mills B. Lane who will be acting as our team legal (medical) defense Lawyer (apothecary). Lane has his work cut out for him as the local constables and league officials are already probing the teams off-pitch activities. Lane preveiwed the CornerStones during challenge match with the Croakers and discovered that the referee's were unduly pulling players from the match (guys being knocked out) for questioning. Lane is also interested in getting the CornerStone bounty program up an running to contribute to their 'head hunting' strategy.
Speaking of the Croakers... the slipper devils from a bog down under leaped their way to a win over the CornerStones as is their fashion. Lounging around town (Charles was looking for a match) the Croakers ended up at the CornerStone brewerey located next to the premises of the CornerStone stadium 'The Stones". In true spirit of fellow Bloodbowl players the Scotlings bought the first round of whiskey for the frogges, enjoyed some good conversations, and then it was all downhill from there. An argument ensued over which color of green was the 'best' and the only way to decide it was to win a BloodBowl challenge match right then and there. The Croakers have shown the dwarves the errors of their ways and the correct color choice when asked is asparagus not shamrock green.
Off pitch activities have once again plagued the Scotlings and spilled into the mtach against the Quesos (skaven). Throughout the match a host of witness statements (knocked out results) were conducted with the watchfull eyes of the fans. At on point though the fans were so enraged at the activities of both teams that they stormed the field. The Scotlings took the brunt of the storm and did not perform well after being stepped on by seven thousand of their own fans demanding more whiskey. Two team members were badly hurt but the injury reports reflect that they will be present for next weeks matchs. I assure the fans that a plethora of casks will be present for the fans, complimentary of course, for the next match.
As mentioned earlier the Queso's rat ogre ate a scotling blocker but in retribution a line-rat involved in the fighting on and off the pitch ran onto the field but limped home (casualty, minus one to his movement, miss next game). Reports are sketchy but it is rumored that the skaven team will be down yet another rat for their next game. The way they rats conduct themselves we are sure that some other rat will be willing to fill his postion or be Limburgers lunch whichever comes first.
Thank your for reading this documentary from the corner office, as always...
John Walker Redd, Ret. BB Blocker
Official CornerStone Spokesman
Ladies and Gentlemen... and I guess this means Frank too...
I am proud to anounce three sponsors of the 'The Stones" bloodbowl pitch and the Cornerstones. Each sponsor argued for the right to name the pitch and pick the colors of the team but in the end the thick skulls of the Cornerstone players, and thrown kegs, prevailed and they retained their rights... and lefts. After the 'discussion of fisticuffs' the Cornerstones are 90,000 gp richer in there treasury that is hermetically sealed in an old mayonnaise jar, sitting on a corner of a front porch of an undisclosed location, and awaiting use for their next match.
To interrupt our irregularly scheduled bulletin, you should be informed that an investigation by the league has been launched to determine 'what' was refereeing the opening game for the CornerStones. The Derps claim it was a disguised 'goblin' of another team and the 'other team' claims no knowledge but the smile on their faces betray the facts. Some claim that a long lost referee that 'blew' the coin toss on Thanksgiving Day all those years ago has returned to cause more havoc since he can't find work anywhere else. We here at the CornerStone front office are fine with taking it out on the pitch but the story continues.
As the official spokesman for the CornerStones this is where I am suppose to thank, beg, and grovel to those with the dollars but in the end I'm just too tired and don't really give a 'hairy dwarven posterior when he's beard down'. I will however show you the three sponsor banners that should be completed before the next regulation match and flown behind the whiskey kegs ready for the team post match.
I am proud to anounce three sponsors of the 'The Stones" bloodbowl pitch and the Cornerstones. Each sponsor argued for the right to name the pitch and pick the colors of the team but in the end the thick skulls of the Cornerstone players, and thrown kegs, prevailed and they retained their rights... and lefts. After the 'discussion of fisticuffs' the Cornerstones are 90,000 gp richer in there treasury that is hermetically sealed in an old mayonnaise jar, sitting on a corner of a front porch of an undisclosed location, and awaiting use for their next match.
To interrupt our irregularly scheduled bulletin, you should be informed that an investigation by the league has been launched to determine 'what' was refereeing the opening game for the CornerStones. The Derps claim it was a disguised 'goblin' of another team and the 'other team' claims no knowledge but the smile on their faces betray the facts. Some claim that a long lost referee that 'blew' the coin toss on Thanksgiving Day all those years ago has returned to cause more havoc since he can't find work anywhere else. We here at the CornerStone front office are fine with taking it out on the pitch but the story continues.
As the official spokesman for the CornerStones this is where I am suppose to thank, beg, and grovel to those with the dollars but in the end I'm just too tired and don't really give a 'hairy dwarven posterior when he's beard down'. I will however show you the three sponsor banners that should be completed before the next regulation match and flown behind the whiskey kegs ready for the team post match.
Before I sign off I would also like to again shout-out to any lawyer (apothecary) ready to serve a team with the great benefit of having enough work for two surgeons, beer on tap during medical procedures, and never having to maintain a clean working environment. That's how we roll on 'The Stones!
John Walker Redd, Ret. BB Blocker
Official CornerStone Spokesman
The CornerStones News Bulletin #1
Ladies and Gentlemen,
After a long stint in the stockade the blitzer team of the Lochnagars are back with the team learning a valuable lesson about arguing about 'who can git who!'. They have agreed that there will be plenty of 'guttin' to be had for a season and will alternate who 'gits' who.
The Cornerstones are also proud to include (paid for out of the team treasury) Journeyman John Walker Black who will be wearing the number 16. John filled in for the Lochnagars while they served time as the guests of the local authorities and helped the CornerStones through some extra team training (inducement - extra re-roll). It was a tough game for John seeing as how there were two extra plays (player turns) due to rowdy crowds demanding more blood.
For the local SPCA, Mister pig (the pigskin/ball) was unaffected/infected, since a lot of the local graveyard residents were in attendance and the rest of the 'living' crowd who loved his dirty pink uniform. No pigs were harmed in the playing of this match unlike the zombie who now has a leg bone put on backwards due to an injury (-1 to his agility due to the roll on the injury table).
Amazingly the Derping Skulls and Ones, won the game 4 - 0. Referee's were amazed too at the four casualties caused by the recently resurrected undead team. Some suspect the goblin referee had something to do with the casualties and win, but those rumors are unsubstantiated... for now. Fortunately just before the match a wandering Apothecary (inducement) was available to attend some of the injuried players on the CornerStones or a niggling injury would have been had by the runner Morgan Bladnoch.
Speaking of Bladnoch, Morgan was named (rolled) the most valuable player after the game this afternoon. Fighting his way through some sore ribs, a ripped hat, and a couple of falls from the Derping Werewolves he managed to figure out (gained a new skill) how to block his opponents instead of going down when the wind blew or the bad breath of the resurrected wolf man came his direction.
Other notable contributions to the team was the efforts of number eight, Vag Talisker. Vag was inspirational (the MVP) in a previous pre-season challenge and that carried through in this game with Talisker causing a casualty while protecting his teammates (gained the guard skill after the match).
The Cornerstones are now looking for a sponsor (monies from the league staff after I post my pictures) and any and all (idea's) are welcome. The team would also like to place a shout-out for any full time Lawyer (apothecary )looking for work due to recent 'off-pitch' activities (drinking a celebratory beer with Nate). Contact the CornerStone front office if interested in working for some short guys with attitude and all the whiskey you can manage while staying on your feet.
Once again the the CornerStones (Me) would like to extend a warm congratulations to the Derping Skullz and Ones (Nate) for a great afternoon. We look forward (maybe a challenge later in the season) to seeing you later in the season.
John Walker Redd, Ret. BB Blocker
Official CornerStone Spokesman
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