Captain's Log... Punishment...

I'd tell you that I played Blood Bowl earlier this evening but I can't. For some reason it feels like I didn't even show up.

I know, I know... Do I need a little cheese with that whine? Why yes, yes I do!

I'll just let you read and then ask questions if you like...





Crime Report #2 - Underworld Beatdown...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Starting the season with a win, the Finks celebrated victory with some slightly molding cheese that tasted good but in the end signaled how their next match would turn out. The rats are know for their cast iron stomachs but in this case the cheese must have been to far gone. Such is life...

The sickly but victorious Finks took the field against a brand new team to the sunlight from the Underworld. There name?... something very forgettable at the moment. Their coach though is well known and the undead necromancer Kelsey has shown that he can do more then get undead flesh to perform tricks. He did have a little help though with the star player Skitter Stab-Stab, a wizard, and some green and gold dice he kept rolling in the dugout... for luck. (Yes, the famous green and gold dice like Dave's ACCC Green Meanies.)

On a gorgeous spring day the Finks fans deserted them for other pleasures and the Underworld team attracted more fans to the field of play. The Finks did win the coin toss and elected to receive in the second half. That was probably their first mistake...

Kelsey whipped his team onto the field and they tried... unsuccessfully... to throw a goblin into range of scoring. Unable to stick the landing they lost the ball and the Finks recovered mid-first-half and managed to score.

The score would have a price though... at the end of the half the Finks only had five of twelve players on the pitch with the rest injured to the point of two missing the next game and one of them with a fractured skull (-1 AV). It wasn't pretty.

Still not giving up, the Finks drove the ball down the Underworld end-zone on the first drive but Mikey (gutter runner) slipped over his very long legs and dropped the ball. Injuring himself he would not return to the game. It took a few plays but Donnie (gutter runner) managed to score.

It was still early in the second half but Fat Tony did have to concede without penalty due to the fact he could only field two players on a kickoff. Despite being ahead two to one on the scoreoboard it was better to skitter off the field of play and live to play another day.

It was painful to watch even from the press box ladies and gentlemen. The beating taken by the Finks from some goblins on steroids was brutal and only comparable to the the Season three beating between Daemon Dave Arvelo and Jumping John Jabe. Just brutal... painful... and downright... awful.

The Finks looked like they couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag with a switchblade in a rainstorm.

However... with all that said...

Fat Tony wishes Coach Kelsey all the best and congratulates him and his rag tag Underworld team on their victory!

I should also mention that league officials found 'rat poison' in the cheese used in the Finks victory celebration. No clues to 'who' might have tainted the the cheese but officials are continuing their investigation.

Till next match...




Official Fink Lawyer and Spokesman
John Walker Redd
Retired Cornerstone Blocker


(Uncle! - CK)