Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Captain's Log... I have been the road...

Used without any permission whatsoever. 

I have been the road.

That sums up the previous two games for my team the Finks. However, tonight that improved when I played another one of our leagues coaches.

Charles is a great supporter of the local Blood Bowl league and of other events when he gets the chance. I think we are lucky  to count him in each season when he plays due to his competitiveness and  variety of teams he plays. Slann, Skaven and now Vampires, he is out there on the pitch with the rest of us... soaking in blood one way or another.

Now, on to the report...

Crime Report #4 - The Road

After the last two games the Finks were afraid to get back onto the pitch. As much as SinSynn 'Two-Tails' the Breeze wanted to get back onto the field of play, he and Lucky Mikey were unable to to participate. Instead two red-shirt journeyman rats of no name were recruited by Fat Tony under duress and stood in their places.

The Dark Lord of Night Charles, known as Pentar in certain corners of the world, rounded up his thralls and vampires from the local gaming establishment and formed the FTW Allstars. As a matter of course it would be nothing but night games for them. It seems that their supply of sun-block hasn't been delivered this season.

As a matter of law I am required to tell you that the Finks remain silent on the subject of the 'sun-block' and that you can't prove anything at this point. League officials may have their opinion but without a trial in court the Finks are nothing more than an almost innocent bystanders.

On a perfect night in perfect weather Charles won the coin toss and elected to defend, beginning in the first half with and oddly cheering and moaning crowd that was a bit larger then the fans of the Finks. I commented during the match that some of them looked freshly 'dug-up' and then after Charles hypnotic gaze I forgot what I was going to say... it will come to me... maybe... maybe not...

Glart Smashrip was goaded out of his corner and honored the request of the Finks, in the form of gold inducemnts, to play during the match. Glart has a long and sorted history in Blood Bowl with his strong and claw tactics and fit in to fill the many holes of the permanently damaged Fink memebers.

The first half went without much excitement as both the Vampires and the Finks either dropped the ball and recovered it or the ball was taken away by the other team. It was so odd that the coach of the Bayou Brawlers even commented upon all the players off the field. The Finks did manage to score but many of their players were taken out of the game.

One highlight of mention was when the vampire Dave, a bearded vampire at that, attempted to blitz the Fink's ball carrier but blood-lust overcame him. Normally this isn't a problem but in trying to dodge around to get to Leo Socks, a gutter runner, he tripped over his own feet and fell to the turf. The blow was so severe that he turned into a bat and flew into the stands where the crowd pushed (more like threw) an unaware newcomer into the awaiting vampire and was immediately fed upon. Next week the Allstars will have a new thrall... I am sure of it!

During the second half noticeably more fans sat on the Fink's sideline then previously.

Kicking off to the Allstars in the second half the Vampires, who seemed to be short on blood but not on thralls, had trouble picking up the ball despite their best ball handler (AG 5) dropping it twice. Eventually 'Cat' would get the ball and start to run down the field. With a good pass action and run the Allstars wold tie up the game 1 - 1 early.

Determination, but no bribes, were on the Finks side and two more of their players were caught fowling by the ref resulting in them being thrown from the game. Little Momo Jr. tried to retaliate against the Vampires but was put to the turf and killed despite the best efforts of the teams Apothecary.

Fat Tony sends his regards to the Allstars for such brutality and hopes that they choke on the 'bloody rare' steaks he sent over. Little Momo the 1st will replace Momo Jr. for the team and was awarded the honor of delivering the 'steaks' to the Vampire team along with Tony's message.

Grinding it's way down to the end the Fink's did managed to 'steal' a late game touchdown by Bugsy Donnie (gutter runner) and win the match 2-1.

Not brutal but definitely nail biting. The Finks are clearly struggling with offense due to the loss of their star runner and thrower combined with the permanently injuries sustained early in this season. It seems like it will be tem miles of bad detour road for the rats in the corner.


The season is far from over ladies and gentlemen. The Finks still have five official games left and an uncounted number of challenge matches yet to be played. It's just become the road less traveled by other teams who chose to quit or fade away rather than take on the challenges within the SPRBBL!

Till next match...

Official Fink Lawyer and Spokesman
John Walker Redd
Retired Cornerstone Blocker


  1. Ah ha! So you could say you squeaked by with a win on this one. Sorry, I love a good pun. I know next to nothing about blood bowl, but your reports are very entertaining to read.

    1. Sqeeeeeeekd!

      Yes... you could say that!

      Don't worry about not knowing about the game. If you want to know, ask. Just enjoy them as a diversion from other things.

      thanks again for commenting and keeping up with things,