Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Captain's Log... Death to da Beakies...

The ole Rogue Trader cover!

How do I put this...

Death to da Beakies!

Now that I have the gratuitous xenos war cry out of the way. I'd like to dedicate this light hearted article to my internet rival (only for this article) SinSynn, Loc, and Von (whom I don't know at all). I'd call them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse but Loc is a woman, Von is a bearded man, and SinSynn is... still being studied by NASA... and there are only three of them. I don't recall Lauby except for this internet contest where if you come up with a witty quote they will use it in their banner and Lauby, Brent, and Dethtron smell the same way and I get them confused.

Death to da Beakies!

What caught my attention was the title of an article written by SinSynn. I like it.

 A little about my rival (only for this article) I think SinSynn looks like this...

...but somehow thinks he actually looks like this...

All I know is that the picture found on the web is completely a disguise and you should wash your hands after looking for it. Seriously, soap and water, and Listerine. Are you ready?

You can almost here him whisper in your ear...  
Death to da Beakies!

Just look at the vile xenos hiding his extra tentacles to no avail. I can spot a follower of Cthulhu a mile away... hard outer shell on top to protect a soft brain, a removable outer shell to conceal the extra 'stuff' yet be quickly removed to expose his true nature, tools of the 'trade' to help in his 'job' here on earth, small eyes protected by a second set of 'lenses'... Oh yes... He's easy to spot even with the 'cookie duster' under his nose.

Needless to say SinSynn has a way with the English language to 'charm you' for an extra-terrestrial and who you gonna call when you fall under his 'spell'? These guys?

All they are going to do is blow stuff up and cause your garbage bill to go through the roof. I'd call these guys instead...

These guys are going to REALLY blow stuff up and leave town while the US Army sticks around and SinSynn still is going to go on and on about tentacles, which he surprisingly spells correctly, and shout...

Death to da Beakies!

Speaking of tentacles... the first rule of thumb in warfare is knowing your enemy and knowing is half the battle... or so I hear from Joe. I like a quick reference chart though when it comes to outer space cephalopods. I have it as a handy pocket guide.

Original owner and link to his site: Link

I have to admit that turning to the multi-part, multi-jointed side is very tempting especially if SHE is interested...

Needles and Sins

Death to da Beakies!

Sorry about that... I almost forgot the cry from far northern corners of the internet.

At this point I should tell you that I would love to be talking about these guys...

Instead I should talk about...

Death to da Beakies!

Below are the real enemy... certain companies talk about IP infringment but I think they dipped their hands into the 'pot' themselves back in the day... Do you agree?

First came these...

And then subtlety these guys showed up...

In my mind they are one in the same... then again so is Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker.

In response I'd like to show the 'rival' (for this article only) whose standing watch for tentacles long into the night...

First you have these guys...

Armed with the 'Holy Bolter' these guys have been around awhile and are revered by even our purse loving Loc! Actually she bribed me to show the beakies and told me the 'purse' was stylish while doubling as a home protection device.

I'm not sure about it being stylish but the 'Irish Princess', who tolerates an old guy who lives in a corner, said it would do in a pinch against 3:00 am girl scouts coming in through the back door to sell cookies.

Next up are the guys who do the heavy hitting for the 'beakies'. These 'old school' killers still do the job on the field of battle against fish-men and tentacles alike!

Sometimes though, against everything I stand for, 'moar' fire power isn't needed. I can't think of the situation but I am told 'specialists' are needed for certain 'stuff' outside of certain corners. Melta, swords, pistols, and the ever popular halberd of power usually do the trick and make 'sushi' out of the enemy.

On rare occasions a little leadership is required and then this guy shows up...

He makes fish-food out of the enemy and kicks ass and takes names... thus the scroll (of names) in his hand!

Hmmm... it seems to have gotten quiet. I wonder what happened? No more shouting of 'the phrase that pays'!

Anyway, I leave you and the 'rival' (only for this article) with this...

No sheep were harmed in the making of this picture.

Be careful what you say... or the sheep will get it.

I retire to the corner...


1 comment:

  1. The sheep is perfectly safe- that's a GW paint gun. Cthulhu...I mean, LORD knows, those things ain't never worked once!


    Actually, those are some real OG Beakies displayed in some of those pics, and fer realz those Missile Launchers are way, Way, WAY cooler than the lil' paper-towel roll looking thingies they're bearing nowadays.
    I'm pretty sure da Beakie with the scroll is holding a map with only a big 'X' and the words 'Purge Xenos Here' scribbled on it, and at the bottom he wrote 'I <3 da Emperor' over and over again like a 10th grade girl with a hot crush.
    Creepy friggin' Beakie.

    'hard outer shell on top to protect a soft brain'- HA! Everybody knows I haven't got a brain. So nyah.

    As far as I'm concerned, DEATH TO DA BEAKIES is a pretty all-purpose phrase, if you can avoid getting stuck in the loop of saying it over and over agai-
    Too late.
    I hope yer happ-