Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Captain's Log... Chronic Pandering...

For my friend in a funk...

Muttering to himself in the corner Captain Kellen slipped in and out of the system of corners he used as a super-highway. Kind of like the internet but not really.

The last person to wander into the corner uninvited. What?! I was in the shower that's what!

He was in 'her' office at the 'HoP' headquarters. A plethora of new purses, shoes, and copies of 'Concrete Quarterly' were strewn about on the visitors couch. She herself was sitting at the desk clicking away with a mouse while looking at a computer screen. Something like 'Three hundred dollars isn't really a lot for shoes...' passed her lips. Her eyes never moving she spoke aloud, 'About time turned yourself in. The cleaning bill for his 'trail' of woe is going through the roof. You have a lot of explaining to do."

'I don't think so,' said the Captain. 'I'm under no contnract and come and go as I please. Besides... you lost the number to the Irish Princess.'

'Stolen from me is more like it."

'Accidentally on purpose is the phrase you are searching for,' said Kellen clearing a spot on the crowded couch. Without warning a brick fell from one of the purses along with a tube of lip gloss, a D20, some gum, a picture of her and some 'Dude', three D6, an expired coupon to White Castle, black fingernail polish, a brush, note pad and pencil, and a blackjack. Captain Kellen returned the things to the purse but paused when it came to the weapon. "A little under-kill wouldn't you say?'

'Standby...' she trailed off still klicking away only pausing for drink out of a disposable coffee cup obviously used more than once.

'He's in a funk and restless.'

I must go to her!
'Remember the restraining order!' Captain Kellen Slaps what poses as a face for a xenos. 'Get it together man!'
"The readers will keep him going for awhile and then place him on life support.' she continued without letting herself turn from the screen. Macy's was having a sale!

'...and then?'

'Don't you have some corner to explore? Blood Bowl to play? Rats to paint?'

'Perhaps you're right... as ususal.' said Kellen rising then disappearing into a shadowy corner near a rack of Gucci and Prada.

Stopping in a corner used by the 'Infinity' people he just shook his head, "no wonder," he said out loud. The nerfing of ones favorite army took its toll on the tentacles xenos and he had reverted back to a more prime-evil stage of 'stalking' and a 'Megan Fox' movie marathon with interruptions of tentacle hentai (where ever that corner is...) thrown in to take up more than twenty minutes on the DVR.

Checking the containment status of SinSynn, Captain Kellen pressed the 'Feed me Seymore' button on his remote control and automatically a peanut butter and raspberry preserve sandwich was sent to the xenos. Aiding and comforting Xenos... Heresy? The Captain was prone to doing something good, something bad and a little bit of both. Typically he chose both. He was never a boy scout nor was he a son of anarchy. He had his moments though.

Some days you're the hero... others you just release the minions.

Slipping into another corner and emerging at Games-Workshop the Captain realized he didn't have enough money to pay the tolls of 'codex supplements' and 'price hikes' that obviously caused the crash of the 'specialist' area of GW. Likely it would never return but the NAF Underground was keeping Blood Bowl going despite lack of official recognition. It would survive... like bad luggage or purses with bricks in them.

And by purse... we mean this.

So with a sigh he kept going.

As always... you can find me in some corner searching...



  1. What would I do without you guys?
    Thanks fer the love, man.

    Did you have trouble finding an appropriate hentai pic? I gotta look for like, ever, to find one I can use in a post.
    I realize how that sounds, but-
    A) it's true, I swearz.
    B) don't you judge me.
    I could turn safesearch back on, but why? Safesearch just sucks the fun outta living.

    1. I typed in 'tentacle hentai' without the safe search... in front of the Irish Princess.

      The looks man... the looks...

      It did take me awhile to find one 'approved for television'. Not that I didn't enjoy the pic's but most of them showed a little too much tentacle going into the 'whoo-ha' if you know what I mean.

      I wanted to make sure I supported you. Over at the HoP you get a lot of suggestions. I wanted to show it and let you find your own path.


      Cuz we've been men for awhile and we'll do our own damn thing despite the 'Crazy-Lady' and the Irish-Princess'!

      Be eazy,

  2. This title feels familiar :D

    What did I start

  3. This is with out a doubt my new favorite semi regular series on the webway. Bless you all. Creativity will always find an outlet :)

    1. As always Zab thank you for coming by...

      We'll see where it goes in the future. Little bits like this go a long way and we don't want to overload the internet!


  4. @ Merry Vulture - Thank you for stopping and making a comment. I'm not much of a blogger but have my moments.

    Thank you again!


  5. I really hate shoes. I think they're the devil incarnate. Shoes are a torture worse than death.

    And I don't drink coffee (or anything with caffeine.) My drink is tequila.